How did you meet grandpa?

Gertrude, "Don't go."
Julian, "I have to go, I'm old and I'm sick."
"Don't go, don't leave me alone."
"I have to die first, I'm older. It's time for me to go."
"No, don't die."
"I have to go build us a house." (She cries) "Remember, like when you came to Japan, I already had a house for us. It will be like that."

"He was like that, telling jokes to lighten the mood."

This November I had the opportunity to spend a week in the Philippines with my grandma. It was the first time I got to spend that much one-on-one time with her. I asked my grandma how she met my grandpa.

She smiled.

"I did not like him. He was not handsome, he did not know how to take care of himself. He did not dress well and wore bad shoes, wooden shoes. 

I had many boyfriends, boys my age. One was studying to be a minister. There was another who was a boy scout executive, he was real nice. I like this, I like that. Your grandpa was on the list of ones I did not like. He was old, he was already in the war. 

Gertrude Sarmiento

Grandpa was friends with my older brothers, so he was always around growing up. His cousin was my sister in law, and we grew up in the same barrio. Mellie, my niece but she's more like my sister, would give him my address. Grandpa always favored her. He wrote hundreds of letters, sending gifts, sweets and handkerchiefs from Japan. 10 years is a big difference when you're quite young. 

It could have been 10 years of letters. I never wrote him back. But he promised himself, "That will be the girl that I marry. You might have boyfriends, but until you're married, I will not give up. You will learn to love me as I love you." After a series of gifts, it was my brithday, then Christmas, then Valentine's Day, I wrote him back. I said, "Thank You." It was my first letter. And your grandpa, he took that as "Yes, you love me too. Let's get married." 

I didn't love him, but he said that I would learn to love him. I didn't know what I was doing. But a few months later we were married in San Juan Church, May 23, 1955. I was 25 and he was 35. We did not have much preparation, two weeks? His parents came over to my parents to ask for my hand and make arrangements. I came home from Mindanao, grandpa from Japan, Tachikawa. He was in the U.S. Air Force, already an America Citizen, I was an alien. After the wedding grandpa went back to Japan, I followed him a few months later, he had a house ready for us. I had to work on my papers and there were not many passenger planes. I rode a boat. 

May 23, 1955

Danny was born in February 1956, we were in Japan for about a year. We were transferred back to the Philippines at Clark Air Force Base, Judy, then Vivi were born. Six weeks after Vivi was born we moved to Idaho. Then Guam for two years, then Oklahoma for many years, and California in the seventies. Grandpa retired from the Air Force in 1966 and went into Civil Service. He earned more money with Civil Service. In Oklahoma we had free rent because grandpa did maintenance on all the trailers. His paycheck wasn't much, but he knew a lot of little things. He was a handyman. We squeezed and he was able to send the kids to school and foot the bills. We never had loans or felt discriminated against. All the kids were good and smart, they never gave us any problems. They were the brown kids in the brown house.

Julian's Retirement from the Air Force, 1966

We were the only brown people there before. There was one who came, but she was married to an American. People had been real nice to us, because we were poor. We became friends with the priest. He tried to convince Danny to become a priest, they go on all those trips. But Judy said, "No, you're the only boy!" They went to Sunday school and were all confirmed. But when they went to college they went their own way. But they never had any problems, always 100% attendance.

In Guam, Vivi put a peanut in her nose. We had to bring her to emergency, put her in a dentist chair. They had to break the peanut to get it out. She was 2 or 3. That was a big story. But they hardly got sick, they were healthy. Your mom had a fever once. In California your mom was salutatorian, only because she was a transferring student and we had vacation in the Philippines, lots of absences. High School she was valedictorian, no question. 

Grandpa loved me, he loved the children. He never had an affair or raised his hand. He worked hard. He was a good man. We never had big arguments. We would disagree, I didn't like his ideas. But we'd never go to bed angry. "You have to talk." Grandpa would make us talk, he didn't like me to ignore him. We disagreed, but he never hurt me or let me cry. We had a good life, we lived very simply."

On their Golden Anniversary, May 23rd 2005, my grandpa went to the hospital with two aneurysms. He died on June 4, 2005, he was 85. He made it by date to their Golden Anniversary (50 years of marriage), but he passed away before their celebration in June.